Why do I feel so empty? I'm so used to doing everything alone. It's easier being alone. I hate having to think about another person. How he perceives me. How I think I should act around him. Maybe it's easier to be alone.

Got me thinking.

Am I even in the right course? Why aren't I enjoying this at all?
Why are people so confusing? Why am I so confusing?
I can't believe I'm still doubting myself. It's already the 2nd year of school...but I really don't know if I can hold on any longer. I'm not sure if I have the strength and motivation to continue on with what I'm doing right now.

My life has been kinda confusing lately. Or rather, I realise that I get so annoyed so easily nowadays. I'm annoyed at myself. I keep thinking of a guy whom I don't even want/intend to have feelings for. Screw you, emotions. Honestly, I don't even know if I'll ever get into a serious relationship with anyone. I'm only 18 but every guy I've had feelings for...just weren't up to my expectations. PICKY BITCH HUH. The thought of being in one is frightening. I couldn't even commit to my past relationships because I was afraid of what people would say and how their comments would affect me. I should probably start caring less about what people think of me but it's not that easy. Been a walking insecure machine since the day I was born. I mean, who the hell cares about what strangers think of them? ME. Speaking of relationships, I think I always fall for the wrong guys. Seriously. I wish I could just turn off my emotions til I'm old and wise enough to control it. At the same time, I really want someone to hug me and tell me that they'll be there for me at all times. I don't know anymore. Maybe I just need to know that someone cares, as cliche as it may sound.

I'm feeling rather pissed off at the moment. For no particular reason. I just am....which is weird cos there should be a reason behind everything. Not for me I guess. Why am I so annoyed at everything. Everyone. I need someone to talk to. People at home are pissing me off. I should be happy. But I'm not.

Tuesday

Well...you obviously don't give a shit about me. Why am I even bothering. Why am I even affected by this? As always, I'll just blame it on my raging hormones. It's all part of growing up.

It sucks how I have such great expectations of people I just met and at the end of the day, I'll just be a disappointed potato. It's ok though, all's well. I'll learn to accept things the way they are now.

Confused

I'm not sure as to whether I like you or not. I don't know why I feel so jealous whenever it happens, but I just am. Life of a teenager with raging hormones.
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This week's been tolerable. We got to paint, that was pretty exciting.
...
Tomorrow's Mother's Day. I hope you're doing well up there, Mama. I really wish I have some memories of you. I love you.

Poly

It's so weird to know that I'm in poly already....TIME FLIES. One of my emo nemo days today sigh. I feel so bad for not being a reliable friend. Or maybe I'm just confused about what's going on in my life. Am I being too selfish? Hopefully not.

The first 2 weeks of school has been fine. My classmates are wonderful people and I hope that we'll stay as bonded as we already are at the moment. Poly is completely different from what I imagined it'd be like...much better to tell ya the truth. I thought that I'd be a loner in school, since I'm socially awkward and all. Thank God I met people who seem okay with my awkwardness and make me feel so welcomed in school.

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I hope you'll open up to me soon. Sorry I'm such an emotional beeyatch.

2013

I know it's already the 1st of February....but hey, happy new year!
Let's see.
My life is definitely not going how I planned it to. It's all due to my laziness and procrastination and all these DISTRACTIONS. Since O levels are over and I know what I'll be doing in the next 3 years, I wonder if I'll ever take matters into my own hands. I keep questioning myself from time to time: "Why didn't I start studying earlier?" and "Why are you such a lazy arse?"
I definitely knew what course I wanted ever since I was in primary school, which is mass comm. Heck, I knew how difficult it was to even ENTER that course since it's so popular amongst us teenagers. As years passed by, I started becoming complacent and thought: "Huh. I can sprint at the final stretch." I mean, I did study for my Os but at one point during the exams, I literally felt like giving up. Which I did, especially for science and POA.
At this point in time, I reconsidered all my options and decided to opt for culinary as my first few choices. I love baking and I do have experience in food & nutrition.
Imagine my disappointment when I found out that I missed that course by a mere point.
So here I am, hoping that the course they posted me to wouldn't be another reason to hate life.
Wish me luck x

2012

First post of the year. I really do have to stop procrastinating :/ Considering the fact that school resumes tomorrow and I've yet to complete some (all, actually) homework. Oh and study. I wish that the past me was more hardworking so that I'd already be done with my secondary school education. Hi future me, stop being such a lazy arse and get to work now!

ADORABLE :)

Today was bearable.
What I find annoying, though? I come home everyday feeling like a freakin' zombie.
This will then lead to me NOT studying, thus, leaving me as dumb as ever...
School should be on every alternate days. I'd be the happiest girl in the world :)
xoxo muggles of the WWW.

I am so very exhausted.....LESSON LEARNT: NEVER STARVE YOURSELF BEFORE TAKING AN EXAM/TEST/BLAH OR YOU'LL BE AS DAFT AS A DINGBAT AND FORGET EVERY FORMULA YOU HAVE LEARNT. Sayonara.

Here's another post to make up for all the time i've been MIA from here.
I'm actually looking forward to Thursday :)
Not tomorrow though, surely not tomorrow.
And I need a laptop/computer that'll actually allow me to complete my coursework (this laptop doesn't have Microsoft Word and i tried Open Office. It's great and all but it freaking screws around with my templates and doc format)
Anyhoos, yes i really hope+pray that i'll last through this week.
AND PLEASE, I REALLY *NEED* TO START STUDYING REGULARLY OMG don't be a lazy beetch.
I like Darren Criss so here's a picture of him to end the post:

Au revoir.

Sometimes I feel as if i don't deserve anything.
Maybe life would be better if there weren't things like electronics and other shenanigans to worry about. Just like today.
My mobile phone bill exceeded by $20 and my dad's gonna cut my allowance. I'd rather cut my entire phone line and go back to using prepaid than surviving with $5 the whole week. I hate being broke... sigh :/
That reminds me... I owe my best friend's sister $11 for HP, damn it.
Well, it was absolutely worth it but i sure hope that i'll be able to pay her back soon.
Here's something random I did after school today: I BAKED A FRIGGIN QUICHE LOL
It may seem like i've got too much time in my hands, but i'm merely procrastinating. I really should break this bad habit of mine. I shall have dinner now. Adios Puck :)

dude what the hell. why can't you reply to a freakin simple message so that i can focus on other things huh huh huhhhhhhhhhhhhh?

bitch you don't know a single thing bout me k so gtfo or shut up.

HARROW KBYE.

what the fat.

hi i'm blogging from school cos i'm fucking pissed bout my mid-year results. my english result was fucking horrible. like holy flying fuck...my english result is humiliating. gaaaaaah why must you do this to me!!! i've dropped 2 grades ever since last year partly due to the change of teacher. seriously...i don't know what to do anymore...i'm losing hope. my other subjects are even more atrocious. and the hurtful truth is that i actually put in more effort to study for this mid year exam compared to previous exams... urgh.......FUCK!

FUCK MY BORING LIFE. _|_

Well HARROW THAR. I AM GOING NUTZ STUDYING SS GAAAH :(